Welcome
Welcome to the Book Cave. It’s a pleasure to have you here. I realise there are gnome droppings* everywhere, but please ignore the mess (it just happens when they’re really excited).
You might have noticed some books sticking out of their bookshelves at a jaunty angle. These are the first two books in the Actum Tempus Saga. If you take a quick wander down the page, you’ll find a blurb on each of these books, and links to read them via a Conduit Demon of Necessity (CDN).
Walking past the bookshelves, you’ll notice an old artifact spread out on an antique desk. This is a shoddily-drawn map excised from the decrepit and untrustworth annals of Adam the Artistically Lacking. It might be worth taking a copy of it if you have a paperback version of Waxing Lyrical. It isn’t essential though. All I’m saying is, Pratchett never had maps.
*Gnome droppings are just anything that gnomes decide to let go of on a whim. It can be physical items or it can sometimes be states of being. Pity the person stuck in a room full of gnomes who have dropped their sense of shame and their pants simultaneously. [Fortunately, the floor here is currently only covered in pizza, ice cream, underpants, and books, though the books can’t be blamed on the gnomes.]
The Books
Waxing Lyrical
The second exciting, hilarious, excitingly-hilarious instalment in the Actum Tempus Saga.
All Sawwse wants is to find master lyricist Órga Dán, learn everything there is to know about lyrics and win Esh’areth’s premier talent competition. Instead, she finds herself face-to-face with terrifying sea monsters, lonely necromancers, war-forging Little Kings, and even a pernickity dragon…
Still, this is all par for the course when babysitting the most powerful wizard in the world.
Especially when she happens to be twelve years old.
In the Grip of Time
The journey to become the greatest musician in the world involves playing beautiful instruments, performing at opulent concert halls, and being thronged by thousands of adoring fans. At least, that’s what Sawwse Bohge has been led to believe. So why is it that her path seems to be lined with unfashionable savages, a gigantic rhinoceros, a cult of zealous amphibians, and an amnesiac wizard attempting to mug her with a banana?
Well, when you run away from home, accidentally squash a frog who happens to be a king, and join an adventuring guild seeking an ancient time machine, it’s perhaps all Sawwse can expect.
Now, if only she can practice some music in between saving the world...
This hilarious novel is the first book in the Actum Tempus Saga.
Map(s)
I have so far only managed to excise one map from the annals of Adam the Artistically Lacking. It’s a time-consuming process involving a lot of pencils and crying. However, as I receive more, I will add them here.
Map of North-Eastern Shi’areth
As the title indicates, this is a map of North-Eastern Shi’areth. It doesn’t cover all the locations in Waxing Lyrical, but it covers some of the major ones. I’d love to say this map is to scale, but it’s probably fairer to say that it gestures to scale in the same way that a tabloid gestures at the truth.
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